Dear parents and administrators of Oakland’s public schools and publicly-funded charter schools:
It’s bad enough that you’re requiring kids to wear uniforms to school every day. The least you could do is given them some decent accessories. I mean, the tie on this kid is a travesty. It’s too short and too wide; and the only reason the other kids around him weren’t making fun of his outfit is because they were dressed the same way.
In order to effect positive change in the quality of school uniforms in Oakland, I am officially offering myself for service as a volunteer school uniform style consultant. Need more tasteful neckties? Stylish-but-sensible shoes? Put me on the case! Let me be your ally in making the experience of wearing school uniforms a little less painful.
Write me at email@example.com and we can do lunch.